Wednesday, June 14, 2006

"Are you ready for Bio Engineered Buddies?"

"Upon waking from its dormant state the Genpet™ will immediatly bond or imprint to your child."

First of all, let me start off by saying: What the crap? These things are worse than Furbies*

Second of all, I can just imagine a little kid getting one for Christmas.

The unknowing little boy is sitting beneath the Christmas tree opening package after package, until he comes across something that that doesn't quite make sense in his brain.

He presents the package questioningly to his parents.

"Mom, Dad, what is it?"

The parents reply with a puzzled look. Both inquire amongst themselves.

"Did you get him that one?"

"No, I thought maybe you did..."

All the while, the little boy, strangely intrigued by the creature looking thing in the package starts to open it up until it is fully revealed. The creature slowly sits up in its encasing, blinks and looks at its surroundings, and focuses on the boy holding it.

"Mommy, look. It's sorta cu--AH!!!"

The creature lunges itself at the boy, baring sharp incisors, razor-like claws, and going immediately for the jugular...

It'll be on everyone's post-Christmas return list faster than Ryan Seacrest gets another job offer.

*My family got a Furby for Christmas once. Before opening the package, or even opening the bag to let it out, we all agreed that it never left the living room. It had a little camera on it's head, and we were certain that the camera was secretly linked to the government or something. We formed a circle around it to see what it did. It opened its bulging eyes to gurgle a little something. It looked like the creature from Gremlins. It didn't take long for us to throw it away, either because we got bored, or out of paranoia.


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